Why is it that every time I'm having a bad day I feel inclined to blog. Perhaps, because like writing in your journal, its cathartic, but somehow I feel like I'm getting heard (or read) my thoughts and needs acknowledged. But in an anonymous way without having to blubber it all out to your husband or some sympathetic friend and feel embarrassed about the aftermath of it all. I don't even want to begin to address the ramifications of anonymity and the internet. Instead I think I might consider the idea of making the blog private - for only those who don't mind my tendency to overshare (code for complain) on a bad day.
Somehow having a bad day lately leads me to read articles on how to manage stress, how to adjust to being a stay at home mom basically . . . how to fix myself so I am happy with my life. (Funny just last week I was saying to my husband how great it is to be so happy . . . ). Yet after eating way too many chocolate chip cookies for the past three days I realized all my stress eating and moodiness had to be dealt with, so then I turn to internet articles. Guess what I found, Wikihow's how to adjust to being a stay-at-home mom in six easy steps. Ha ha! (Ok in their defense maybe they didn't say easy) but it was implied.
I wondered, how do mom's "make time for themselves" when their child is going through a clingy phase and really only wants to spend time with dad in thirty minute increments? Or how do you make play dates with other mothers when you live in a town of nine hundred people (most you are not really sure if you relate to) and your husband takes the car to work everyday?
Cut things out, be less picky about the house being clean - believe me I already don't iron, don't scrub the tub every week and have resigned myself to the mismatched sheets on our bed. In fact, I probably even do have some free time to relax, but I just can't seem to get out and get away and if I do the question is where would I even go? (And I must confess I feel a little guilty for wanting to get out and away).
Yet when my husband goes out for a night with a friend I find myself secretly resenting the ease with which he can make plans and go. In reality, I know he would support me in a night out . . . but where with who and how with my six month old? Now WikiHow please tackle that problem!
Alright now that its very clear that I'm having a not so private pity party, I feel a little sheepish about even posting this at all. Yet what better venue for venting if not a blog that's not really meant to be read afterall.
