So I have been slacking on my blog writing this past week: my new debate is whether to try to make up for it by writing a novel today, or just forget about it and keep writing.
I've concluded . . . because that what I do best, is that I'll try to hit the highlights of this past week or so of frantically writing papers, letting my room pile up into a disaster area, a long drive to D.C. running all over town, late night talks with friends and new realizations about myself and my inadequacies. Its been productive . . . somehow it just hasn't translated into a blog.
I have a million little snippets of life that I want to write about that I value.
Sometimes I feel so lucky to be me, I spent some time with a friend that has a rare quality of listening, asking questions and responding to whatever I say without making me feel judged silly or stupid. And we had a ridiculous amount of fun together. Its amazing how one person like that in your life can really make life satisfying. I wish everyone had a friend like that. Or multiple friends. Why limit yourself right?
Walking through D.C., for some reason I started to cough, now that's a normal thing to do, but as I was coughing in the middle of jaywalking, this crossing guard flagged me down. I had this sinking sensation that I was about to be lectured and I felt a little like a kid about to be lectured by a teacher. Instead he gave me a cough drop. :) I keep it in my purse and look at it because it makes me happy.
Did you know that there is man out there that puts whipped topping in mashed potatoes and spaghetti, oh yes . . . I happened to have met him though I never tasted his spaghetti, but he thinks its like whipping cream - what the difference right? Laughing at the idea of eating spaghetti with whipped topping kept me awake for quite a while on Sunday night. My friend who did eat wisely promised she only mocked him slightly.
If you ever go out to Mt. Vernon, there's a little restaurant by the lds chapel. They have a great salad there called Summer on Plate. And it is. And the day I went it was a perfect summer day. Who knew life could be that good. We ended up walking along the trail by the Potomac, sticking our feet in the water and talking about life. Its been a long time since I felt so relaxed. My friend, told me that he always wished he carried plastic bags in his pocket to pick up all the trash, but we found a bag on the side and started picking up trash anyways. I had to laugh inside to think what the bikers thought. We must have seemed like an odd pair. I was in a dress to go to the temple and he with his big bag of trash just ambling along this bike trail.
I listened to a Holocaust survivor talk about his experiences in a concentration camp during WWII and though many of his experiences were moving, it was what happened after the war that struck me most. He said he was released from the camp, and so happy to be free, but then he realized, he had no one. He had lost all ties with his family, was almost sure they were dead and somehow had to get back to Poland from Germany. On a day when he should have been happy for freedom, he said it was the loneliest day of his life. I couldn't help but think of that. Times of freedom, sometimes getting out of a bad situation, but realizing you are still alone can be incredibly lonely. It made me want to make people transitions in life easier. Happily, after it was all over he pointed to wife, his kids, had them stand up and he was pleased they were there. You could see all over his face, he wasn't lonely anymore.
Life compensates for what we might not have and really want.
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